Hamtaro to the Rescue!
by Ruthless Bunny
Summary: The Lanes are taking care of a neighbor's pets. Can Hamtaro help Trent become happy? A Hamtaro/Daria crossover. **This is rated G*** That means that the word 'pet' means just that. To stroke affectionatly, like we pet our dog or cat or hamster.


Don't you just love Hamtaro?  I do.  CINCGREEN and I were kicking this one around and decided that there had to be a crossover.  Certainly we gain nothing from this materially.  Merely the knowledge that we have entertained you for a brief moment.  Certainly this story will not remain on your palate long.  I'd bother with a disclaimer if I thought for one second that anyone gave a hamster's ass about fan fiction.  Enjoy the story.

Hamtaro to the Rescue

Ruthless Bunny 

Trent's hand hung limply in the bag of sunflower seeds, his soft snores the only sound in the house.  He might have been dreaming of a great performance, or he might have been dreaming of pizza, either way he was happily asleep when the doorbell rang.  

He shook the sleep off of him and got up.  "Just a sec!"  He checked to make sure he was wearing pants.  He opened the door to a little girl and an assortment of bags and cages.  

"Hi, Trent!  Thank you so much for watching Hamtaro and Brandy!  Jane said that I should just drop them off on our way to the airport.  This is Brandy and this is his food."  She handed in a sleeping basset hound in a carrier and a large sack of Eukanuba.  "This is Hamtaro and _his_ food."  She carefully handed Trent the plastic cage with a fluffy, golden hamster in it.  The food was the usual rodent pellets.  

"Uh, great Laura.  Did Jane tell me when you were coming back for these guys?"  Trent scratched his head and surveyed the scene.

"We'll be back at the end of the month.  We're going to visit Grandma in Iwakuni!"  The horn on the Honda beeped.  "Oh! Gotta go! I'll bring you back a present from Miyajima-san!  Good-bye Brandy, good-bye Hamtaro, you guys be good for Trent!"  She gently petted each carrier before running back to the car. Everyone waved at him as they pulled away from the curb.

Hamtaro looked back towards his family.  "Bye-Q!"  He said.  It came out squeaky, but he knew that Laura had heard him.

Trent took the animals away from the front door.  Brandy appeared to sleep through the entire farewell scene, but Hamtaro pressed himself against the plastic cage to get a better look at Trent.

"Hey little dude."  Trent tapped gently on the cage.  Hamtaro looked back at him and waved his arms.  "You sure are cute."  Trent put him on the desk, near the window so that Hamtaro could see outside. He opened the crate holding Brandy, but he was content to snurfle for a moment, rearrange himself slightly and go back to sleep.  "Good idea."  Trent went to the couch again, but spied his bag of seeds.  He picked it up and gave a few to Hamtaro before going back to nap.  

Hamtaro checked out his temporary home.  "Hmm. At least they have good snacks, and Trent seems really nice.  I think this is going to be fun."  

Zackary came in through the cat-door in the kitchen. There were some new, weird smells and he wanted to see what was up in the living room.  In this house, Zackary was used to weird smells.  There was that time that Trent decided to make his skin orange with iodine.  That was a smell that kept Zack-kitty in the basement for a week.  Yuk!  Zackary saw two new beings in the living room.  The first was a dog.  That didn't phase the cat, mostly because the dog was unphased.  Nothing interesting there.  Now that fuzzy mouse in the plastic house, THAT was interesting.  Zack walked up to the box and pressed his face against it.  

Hamtaro stopped his khrrmp-khrrmp long enough to see the cat approach him.  Cats were something that naturally scared Hamtaro.  Cats seemed to view him as food.  Hamtaro did not want to be dinner.  He tried to talk to the cat.  "Hey, Mr. Cat, how are you?  I'm Hamtaro.  Do you speak Ham?"  

Zackary looked at the hamster.  He never ate mice --  he preferred Fancy Feast.  "I'm good Hamtaro.  My name is Zachary.  I understand a little, but you've got a funny accent, not like the hamster that lived here a few years ago."

"Oh, I'm from Japan.  That's why I have an accent. Where are you from?"  Hamtaro liked this cat; he was friendly and not at all interested in eating him.

Zackary thought about it for a minute, "I'm from here.  I was born here.  I've known Trent and Jane and the others for a long time.  They're nice, but occasionally the food gets odd.  Do you like pizza?"

"Pizza?  I don't know.  Is it good?"  Hamtaro asked.  

"Never mind, you'll find out eventually.  The sun's getting sort of low in the sky, if I want to nap in the sunbeam, I've got to get a move on.  I'll check in on you later."

"Bye-Q." Hamtaro thought a nap sounded like a good idea too.

Everyone in the house woke up when Jane got home.  "Trent!"

"Huh?  What?"  Trent sat up.

"How come you're still here?  Don't you have a gig tonight?"  Jane dropped her Hot Dog on a Stick uniform in the corner.  "Daria's on her way over, I've got to shower the stench of corn dog off of me.  Keep her company for a minute, wouldja?  Then we can all go together."  

"Oh.  Okay.  By the way, Laura dropped off Brandy and Hamtaro."  Trent waved towards the animals.

"Oh, look how cute!"  Jane knelt down to give Brandy a scratch behind the ears.  Hamtaro got up on his hind legs to greet Jane.  "Have they given you any trouble?"

"No, but the little one really likes sunflower seeds.  Maybe we should hit Nutty, Nutty World to get him some different kinds of nuts."  For some reason Trent associated the nut shop with something pleasant.

"Yeah, that would be good.  Why don't you see if Brandy needs a walk before we go."  Jane went upstairs and Trent took Brandy out on the leash.  He was outside watching the dog check out the lawn when Daria came walking up the block. 

"Hey Daria.  Just letting the pooch have a pee before we leave."  Trent watched as Brandy sniffed around the yard, gently pulling him away from the sculpture.

"Since when do you have a pooch?"  Daria bent down to pet Brandy.  

"We're watching some pets of the kid down the street."  Trent answered matter-of-factly.

"Someone is trusting YOU with their pets?"  Daria asked.

"Well, Jane actually, but what makes it so strange for me to take care of pets?  I take care of the cats."  Zachary, hearing himself called, came from around the back of the house to remind Trent that it was dinnertime.

"MEOW!"  Zachary shrieked

"Oh yeah.  Come on Brandy, Zachary and Taylor need their Meow Mix."  Trent and Daria went into the house to get the cats some food.

Hamtaro watched as Trent and Daria came in.  Daria came over to his cage to check him out.  "Hamho!"  He said to her.  She didn't seem to hear him talk, but she got the gist of the greeting.

"Who is this?"  Daria reached into the top of the cage to pet him.

"Oh, that's Hamtaro.  He likes seeds."  Something about that amused Trent.  He chuckled as he headed into the kitchen to get the cats their dinner. 

Jane came down to see Daria playing with the hamster.  "Isn't he great?  It's like he knows what we're saying and stuff."

"Actually, I just thought he was a nice hamster."  Daria gave him a final pat and followed Jane into the kitchen.  The cats were on the counter.  Brandy was enjoying a bowl of kibble on the floor. 

"It looks like everyone is chowing down.  Shall we drive through for some tacos before we get to the Zon?"  Jane proposed.  

"Yeah.  You have money?"  Trent asked as he opened the back door for the girls.

***

When the humans left the house, the critters decided to have a chat.  Hamtaro called to the cat who was grooming himself on the sofa.

"Zachary!  Zachary!"  Hamtaro balanced himself on the top of his exercise wheel so he could poke his head up over the Lucite cage.  

The cat, with one leg straight up in the air, paused to respond to the hamster.  "Hamtaro, can you hang on for about a minute?"

"Sure."  Hamtaro took that time to hoist himself out of the cage and he began to explore the house.  He climbed up the curtains and swung a bit from side to side.  

"So what's on your mind little one?"  Zachary stretched out his long body and clawed into the curtains, causing them to stop swinging.  Hamtaro crawled down onto the cat's back.

"I like the girl."  Hamtaro was thinking of Daria and how she had stroked him.  "She has a nice smell."

"I've noticed that.  Jane, the one that lives here smells like something yukky lately.  Daria always smells nice.  There was a time when she smelled like nuts.  That drove Trent crazy."

Hamtaro closed his eyes in rapture. "Oh wow!  A human that smells like nuts.  That would be great!"

"She hasn't for a while.  But the funny thing is that Trent still has a thing for nuts. He comes home all the time with bags of seeds and cashews and stuff."  Zachary had finished clawing the draperies and turned his attention to the sofa.  

"Oh, I think it's going to be nice staying here until Laura gets back."  Hamtaro grabbed a couple more sunflower seeds from the bag on the floor and went back to his cage to sleep.  Zachary curled up on the arm of the sofa like the Sphinx and had a catnap.

***

Hamtaro was up early the next day. No one else in the house was.  Brandy looked unhappy and Hamtaro realized that he needed to go out.  Brandy looked balefully at the stairs and then to the door.  It was too much of a climb for the dog, but Hamtaro decided that he would try to wake someone up to take him out.  Hamtaro scrambled upstairs and started to see if anyone was around.  Trent was asleep on top of his bed.  Hamtaro scampered up the blanket and gingerly tapped Trent on the face with his paw.  Trent groaned and swiped at his face.  Hamtaro tried again, but Trent was too deeply asleep.  The stereo was directly above the bed.  Hamtaro tried to figure out the controls.  He jumped on a switch; then a knob and finally when he pressed a button noise came blasting out of the speakers.

Trent sat up, as the sounds of Atari Teenage Riot filled the room.  He fumbled around to turn the stereo off, and when the din finally stopped, he could hear Brandy howling in the living room.

"Oh.  I should probably let the dog out.  And get some coffee.  And some toast."  Trent wandered downstairs, clad only in his blue and white striped boxers.  He urged Brandy out of the back door as he got the coffee pot dripping.

Hamtaro took time to look around Trent's room.  He decided that the cage with the wood shavings was more hospitable. 

***

The animals and the people did what they normally do for the next few days.  The animals ate, slept and played.  The people ate, slept, worked and played. Trent and Jane did a good job keeping the animals in their care fed, clean and content.  

Trent came in one day with a variety of bags from Nutty, Nutty World.  "Hey Hamtaro, I brought you some presents."  

Hamtaro stood on his hind legs to see what Trent had.  It smelled amazing, like every kind of nut there ever was.  Trent shook out some assorted nuts and gave them to the hamster.  "Oopaa!" Hamtaro squeaked as the nuts hit the bottom of the cage.  Hamtaro took one, a Brazil nut and began to eat it. "Hamm-Hamm."  He nibbled his nut and saw that there was an embarrassment of riches in his cage.  His happiness was unbounded.

Trent hummed as he sat on the sofa.  He too munched away as he looked over some of his new lyrics.  He picked out a tune on the guitar and tried to get some chords to harmonize with the tune he had in his head.  

Hamtaro thought about his friends, the Ham-Hams back in Japan.  They were in the clubhouse, probably listening to Jingle do exactly what Trent was doing on his guitar.  Hamtaro ate his nuts and enjoyed Trent's music.  He wanted to do something nice for Trent, to thank him for his thoughtfulness.  

While Trent had his afternoon nap, Hamtaro went to find Zachary, to see if he had any ideas about something to do for Trent.

Zachary sat in front of the refrigerator expectantly.  

"What are you doing?" Hamtaro asked the cat politely.  

"Waiting."  Zachary fixed his gaze firmly on the door.

"Waiting for what?"  Hamtaro too, stared at the fridge.

"Eventually someone will open it, then I can see inside."  Zachary was truly a Zen master.

"Ah, ha.  I was hoping you could help me with something, since you are so familiar with everyone here."  Hamtaro continued to look at the refrigerator door, but he was beginning to feel foolish.

"Yes, I do know a lot about the humans in this house."  Zachary told the hamster.

"Trent has been so nice to me.  He just brought me some really delicious nuts.  I'd like to do something to thank him, but he has such simple needs, it's hard for me to know how to go about it.  Do you have any ideas?"  Hamtaro watched as Zachary licked his paw in thought.

Zachary pondered for a moment.  "Well, he seems pretty clean, at least to my standards.  He manages to get the food in the bowl on a regular basis.  He certainly gets enough sleep.  Other than that, what is there?"  

Hamtaro considered what Zachary said.  The problem with cats is that they only see things from the cat perspective.  "Well, maybe he needs a friend.  A special friend.  Does he have anyone to Schmubby-Wubby with?"  

Zachary shrugged.  "What for?"

"Because it's nice.  Don't you like it when the humans pet you?" The hamster tried to make the cat understand.

"It doesn't really matter to me.  Whatever gets the food in the bowl.  If they feel like petting me, it's okay, as long as they get the fur in the right direction.  But yes, the humans do like affection.  If you ask me, I think he'd like Daria to pet him."  Zachary maintained his surveillance of the fridge.

"Oh, if I could get Daria to pet him, then that would make Trent extra-happy.  It's good when you can help your friends get happy."  Hamtaro did a hamster dance.  Zachary thought it was adorable.

"How can you get Daria to pet Trent?"  Zachary was being polite, he didn't really care if Daria and Trent petted each other, but Hamtaro was amusing and he liked to humor him.

"Hablah!  I don't know.  Maybe if I watched Trent I could get some inspiration."  Hamtaro headed back into the living room to observe his friend.  "If you think of something you'll tell me, right?"  

"You'll be the first to know."  Zachary flicked the tip of his tail as an acknowledgement. 

***

Daria and Jane were sprawled on the furniture.  Hamtaro was rolling around the living room in his play ball.  Zachary was playing with him by batting him around for momentum.  

"Is it smart to let the cat smack the hamster around like that?"  Daria asked.

"They do it all the time.  I think the cat likes the hamster.  Pass me that bag of almonds."  Jane reached towards Daria, who was to meet her halfway with the snack.

"Does the hamster like the cat?  That's the big question.  Here."  Daria handed the bag to Jane.  "What is with all the nuts?  Does the hamster eat this much?"

"No, Trent does.  He's a nut fiend.  He has been for a couple of years."  Jane crunched and Hamtaro rolled towards her.  Jane let him out of the ball and gave him a nut, which he happpily bit into with a 'Packa-Packa.' "Come to think of it, he's been into nuts since that time you worked at Nutty, Nutty World.  Hmmm."

"What's that supposed to mean?"  Daria sat up, enjoying a head rush in the process.

"I don't know.  I always got the impression that he liked you, but for whatever reason, he never did anything about it.  Maybe the nuts are subliminal."  Jane shrugged and put Hamtaro on the floor to wander around.

"Jane, that was cute when we were sophomores, but it's getting old.  Although only your brother could manifest a crush as an addiction to salty, snack, treats."  

"You know what Daria.  I never would have pushed it, if I hadn't thought there was something there.  You know, he hasn't had a girlfriend since Monique."

"That's because Domino's only delivers pizza."

"He's not _that_ lazy.  Besides what's so weird about it now?  You're officially an adult, he's nearly an adult, what would be so terrible about dating him?"

"We're so different."

"You guys aren't so different.  You both write.  You both enjoy the same stuff.  You both adore me.  You have lots in common."

"I think you're underestimating the age difference."

"No.  He's dropped hints you know.  Remember that time we stayed at your house?   I overheard him tell you that if you were only a few years older he would take you out.  Look around, you're a few years older.  Do you still like him 'that way'?

Daria had to think about it.  Did she still get butterflies when he was around?  Was she still attracted to him?  "It's been so long since I've thought about it."

"You either tingle or you don't.  Come on, you can tell me.  Do you tingle?"

Daria blushed. "Yeah, I still do."

"So why not make a pass at him?"

"Do I know how to make a pass?  Before I humiliate myself, I'd like a bit more proof of Trent's interest, more proof than half empty bags of nuts."  

Hamtaro became excited. "Heke!"  He knew a way to show Daria that Trent wanted her to Schmubby-Wubby with him.  When Jingle liked a girl hamster he would write a song for her.  Hamtaro "hif-hifed" until he found the paper Trent used to write on.  "Zachary!  Help me, I figured it out.  Can you help me push this paper into the middle of the room?"

Zachary looked down from his perch on the windowsill at Hamtaro trying to pull a spiral notebook out from behind a table.  "Sure, just a sec."  The cat stretched, working out all of his muscles.  Never make an effort if you aren't perfectly limber, thought Zachary as he jumped down and nudged the book onto the rag rug with his nose. 

"Thank you!  I think we can help Trent!"  Hamtaro started to "diggi-diggi" at the paper.  He was careful to just shred the edges, leaving the parts with the writing in tact.

"Jane!  The hamster is tearing up that notebook.  Is it important?"  

Jane got up and looked down at the book.  She lifted Hamtaro off of it and put him back in the cage.  "I think that's enough exercise for now Hammy.  Here's a walnut, why don't you work on that?"  Jane inspected the book, to make sure that in fact it was not valuable.  "Hey Daria, check it out.  Trent's lyric notebook."  

"Oh God, he writes that stuff down?"  Daria sat next to Jane on the loveseat and they both went through the pages.  It was the usual stuff.  'From the Futon', 'Mr. Normal', all of Mystik Spiral's greatest hits. 

They were giggling at the way the lyrics, which normally sounded lame, looked really pathetic written down.  They turned the page and saw the fragment of the last song.  "For Her."

_She walks through the door like she walks through my life,_

_Never knowing how much I had missed her._

_Her indifference cuts like a serrated knife,_

_And I dream of how once I kissed her._

_She doesn't know, I don't let it show_

_I just smile and laugh all the same._

_I let it flow, and it's going so slow,_

_But I'm beguiled like a moth to a flame._

_For her I'd open my arms_

_For her I'd use all my charms_

_For her I'd sing out my heart_

_For her I'd try to be smart_

"Well Sherlock, there's your proof.  I told you he liked you."  Jane closed the book and put it on the chair.  

"What proof? What makes you think that's for me?"

"Who else?  'For you I'd try to be smart?'  Who else but you would care about that?"  Jane smugly sat back and crossed her arms over her chest.  "Case closed.  The two of you need to be together.  By the way, when did he kiss you?  You never told me about that."

Daria sighed. "It was just a peck on the cheek at the Pizza King.  No big deal."

"Well, it was a big deal to him.  Hmmm. All this time.  I guess I mistook laziness for patience.  So how are we going to work this?"  Jane sat silently and pondered her next move.

"I've actually thought about this."  Daria said to a surprised Jane. "After I broke up with Tom, I thought a lot about the kind of guy I'd like to be with.  The problem with Tom was that he wasn't really about his feelings." Jane nodded as Daria continued. "Tom liked to talk about things, but I got the impression after a while that he collected people.  He liked you because you were artistic and interesting. He liked me because I understood his literary references.  He was a good guy, but he never seemed engaged with either one of us.  He just wanted to be friends, with privileges.  When I was younger, what I liked about Trent was that he was deep and sexy.  He still is.  He may not think of himself as smart, but he is.  He's just a different kind of smart.  He sure seems to know how people are interacting."

"Even if he can't do anything about it for himself?"  Jane said, rearranging herself on the cushions.

"That's the point.  Trent can't just come, find me crying about something, and sweep me off of my feet. He knows that I have to decide to come to him.  Otherwise it's just some dumb, chick-flick cliché.  He needs to know that I want to be with him."

"I think that he's being too safe.  He could have said something a long time ago."  

"That's the point.  Up until a month ago, I wasn't ready to be with him.  I was still licking my wounds from Tom.  I was still thinking about what I wanted, rather than what people wanted for me."  She gave Jane a _meaningful_ look. 

"So what _do_ you want?" Jane asked.

"I want someone to laugh with.  I want someone with whom I have a history.  It was so boring explaining everything to Tom.  I want someone who likes me as I am, who isn't going to try to make me do stuff to suit his image of me.  I appreciated the support Tom gave me, but the flip side of that was the judgment, and that was absolutely no fun."  Daria stated emphatically.

"Tell me about it.  There was nothing worse than that stare he had when you picked up the wrong fork."

"Or when you applied for a scholarship with the wrong company. I think you understand what I'm saying.  I want someone that lets me be myself and lets me change myself when it's time to change.  Maybe Trent is that person.  Maybe not, I guess I won't know until I go out with him." 

"So, do we have a plan?"  Jane asked with an evil grin on her face.  
  


"Nothing 'I Love Lucy' I hate slapstick." Daria responded. 

***

The front door opened and Trent walked in carrying his guitar case.  His eyes immediately went to the notebook on the chair.  "What's that doing out?"

"Why?  Something in there you don't want us to see?"  Jane teased him.  

"Maybe.  I'm guessing you've read it?" He leaned the case against the wall and flopped on the sofa.  He was not expecting the two of them to be together.  They were both looking at him expectantly. "Oh yeah.  You read it."  

Jane got up.  "Well, I think that I need to be someplace else.  I'm going into the kitchen for a soda.  I'll be looking in the refrigerator for at least five minutes.  Do either of you want a soda?"  Jane backed out of the room without waiting for an answer.

"Is it me, or is this the part of the story where we both feel awkward?"  Daria asked.

"Well, I know I feel awkward, how do you feel?" Trent asked

"Not as weird as I probably should.  Trent, Jane has this idea that you like me.  She thinks that last song is about me.  Is it?"  Daria felt emboldened by Trent's embarrassment.  

"Yeah."  Trent admitted.  "I did write that for you.  I don't know how I should end it though."

"Do you want to go out?"  Daria asked.  For the first time, Daria was initiating a relationship.  Instead of waiting for the guy to do it, she was in charge.  It felt great!

"Sure.  How about tonight?  I'll take you to the giant strawberry."  Trent smiled at her.

"Sounds good.  Pick me up at eight."  She got up from the loveseat and walked over to the chair where he was sitting.  He tilted his head up to look at her and she kissed him gently.  "By the way, that's a kiss."

"Oh yeah."  Trent sat dazed while Daria moved towards the kitchen.

"Jane!  We're finished.  You can bring us each a Coke now."  

Hamtaro danced in his cage.  Now there was someone who could pet Trent.  


End file.
